Thursday's Coffee
by LupinsGirl98
Summary: Josh Anderson loves his cousin Blaine. They're the only two normal people in their rather large family. He's there when things are good, he's there when things are bad... he's just always there.


**AN: Hey guys! Oneshot, lil Blainers and his cousin mostly. It was fun to write, like really fun and I'd appreciate your thoughts on it.** **It's kind of canon? It follows canon events anyway up until "All or Nothing". Yes, so It's basically Blaine and his couisn Josh having coffee every Thrusday. It may just be my favourite oneshot that I've written yet. ****Hope you enjoy! :D**

**WARNINGS: some swearing, mentions of self-harm, mentions of attempted suicide, some sexual references? It's not too bad but M just in case.**

* * *

Josh Anderson fucking loved his cousin Blaine. They were the only two normal people in their rather large family.

The Andersons were crazy religious which kind of really pissed Josh and Blaine off. They always had some sort of way to try to "straighten Blaine out" and Josh got sick of the talk about his cousin around the house.

"He just needs a week away at Camp Sunshine in Canada; that ought to cure him," his dad had said one night over dinner.

Josh snorted. "Seriously, Dad, I think the name Camp Sunshine is gayer than Blaine."

He'd got told off and grounded for a week.

Josh was two years younger than Blaine but they were pretty much best friends. Every Thursday evening since Blaine had learnt to drive they went out for coffee together. They chatted about everyone and everything: school, girls, guys, football, singing. Not that Josh was musical in any way but he enjoyed watching Blaine get excited about it all.

Being that close to Blaine and knowing him that well meant that Josh could judge his cousin accurately. Blaine was an actor; he was good at hiding how he felt but Josh knew his quirks. If he smiled with his mouth closed, he was sad; if he made minimal eye contact, he wanted to talk about something; if he kept fixing his hair, he was stressed.

Whenever Blaine started his second year at Dalton, his attitude changed. He was always flashing Josh wide, face splitting smiles and commenting on how amazing everything was. At first, Josh was concerned. He'd never seen Blaine act like this before and if he couldn't judge his attitude then he didn't know who could.

Blaine continued to beam at Josh as he sipped his latte. Josh raised an eyebrow.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

Blaine let out a long, dreamy sigh. "Not at all. Just enjoying some coffee."

As he'd gone to sip his medium drip, a text came through on his phone and, if possible, his smile grew.

Josh figured the Warblers had won some sort of competition or Blaine had got a lead solo but then things became clearer as the weeks moved on. Blaine talked more of "my friend Kurt", who became "you know Kurt?" who then simply became "Kurt".

Blaine cancelled a few Thursdays because "Kurt needs help with Chemistry" or "Kurt's helping me decide which song to try for Regionals" or "I was with Kurt and didn't realise the time, sorry!" and one day when they actually did have coffee, Josh kind of snapped.

Blaine's phone buzzed on the table for about the millionth time since they'd been having coffee. He snatched it off the table and laughed quietly to himself before typing out a reply and turning back to Josh who was looking irritable.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" Blaine took a drink of coffee.

"Yeah, so then I told Sophie that -" he was cut off by the phone buzzing _again_. "Oh my god, dude, are you kidding me?!"

Blaine looked up in alarm. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you haven't _said_ anything. You've just been texting ever since we've got here, like if you don't want to be with me then just leave me home!" Josh let out an angry sigh.

Blaine's mouth opened and closed for a second. "I - um... no, I mean..."

Josh raised an eyebrow and Blaine took a deep breath. That infuriating, infectious, face splitting grin was back on Blaine's face when he looked up at Josh.

"I kissed Kurt," he gushed and just like that, Josh completely forgot about the incessant texting and he jumped out of his seat, pulling Blaine into a bone-crushing hug.

Josh had seen his cousin go through a lot. He knew all about Blaine being bullied before moving to Dalton, he knew about Blaine's depression and dark actions following him being beaten up. Josh had seen Blaine at his lowest; he had watched from a darkened doorway in the middle of the night as Blaine sat at a kitchen table and popped several pills into his mouth. He'd visited him in hospital when he was under constant watch in the psychiatric ward and had bloodied bandages around his wrists, torso and thighs. He'd sent him comics to read and movies to watch when Blaine was too nervous to even talk to anyone outside those in his home.

Needless to say, Blaine had come a long, long way since those days and it was only when Blaine's friend Kurt became one half of Kurt and Blaine that Josh finally identified Blaine's attitude that he couldn't place as happiness.

Kurt and Blaine had been dating two weeks when Josh finally met him. Kurt had transferred back to his old school (Josh endured a long, tearful phone call from Blaine the day he left about it all) and he hung out with Blaine for an hour after school. Blaine picked Josh up on route to leaving Kurt home.

Josh closed the front door behind him and looked up at Blaine's car. He suppressed his grin when he saw another boy riding shotgun. He opened the back seat of the car and climbed in before he was finally introduced to the famous Kurt Hummel.

"Hey Josh, this is Kurt," Blaine introduced as he drove off.

Kurt looked back at him and smiled nervously.

"It's good to finally meet you," Josh grinned.

Kurt laughed. "Likewise."

They left Kurt home and were halfway down the road to their usual coffee spot when Josh finally spoke.

"I mean I'm not gay but I'd totally tap that."

Blaine made a grunting noise in the back of his throat. "Dude, gross, you're fourteen."

Josh grinned, suppressing a laugh. "It's a good thing; he's got a nice ass."

There was a moment of silence before Blaine let out a resigned sigh. "It's literally the best thing in my life."

Both boys shared a glance before bursting into laughter. They pulled up at a red light just as their laughter died down and Josh smiled at Blaine and shoved his shoulder.

"Seriously though, I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you're happy."

Blaine's smile grew even bigger and he nodded, stared down at his lap. "I think that's the best part; I've never felt like this before and I've never been happy before. It's new... it feels good."

"You deserve happiness, Blaine," Josh said quietly.

Silence. And then.

"I think so too."

And so Thursdays continued in the same way. Blaine got out of school, picked up Kurt from McKinley to hang out at Dalton and on the way to leaving Kurt home, he stopped by Josh's house to collect him and go for coffee in their usual shop.

Josh got to know Kurt. He knew he loved Vogue, he knew New York was his dream, he knew he was a bitch. And yet Josh couldn't help but love him: he was funny and shared the same views as him. They'd even exchanged phone numbers for emergency purposes in case Blaine's phone ran out of battery and he needed to contact Josh. Not that they'd ever have to contact each other, it was just in case.

The last Thursday before the end of school, Josh received a quick text from Blaine simply saying, 'With Kurt. See you next week.' and since Kurt had been in New York all week, Josh was more than happy to leave his cousin and his boyfriend be. He was actually didn't believe Blaine when he'd phoned him later on that night and Blaine had said nothing of a sexual nature occurred.

Summer arrived and Josh found himself in Blaine's company almost every day during the two weeks Kurt was visiting family out of state.

"It's only one more week, Blaine," Josh told Blaine who was lying face down on Josh's bed, his arms and legs spread out at odd angles.

"It's one more week without Kurt," Blaine replied, his voice muffled due to his mouth being squished against the pillow beneath his head.

Josh rolled his eyes and finished spiking his hair. "Whatever man, but get out of my house. Unlike you, I have a date tonight."

Blaine lifted his head and glared at josh.

"Maybe I'll just stay here and cockblock," he deadpanned before dropping his head dramatically back onto the pillow. "Girls love me anyway."

"Until they hear you're gay," Josh added and swatted Blaine's head. "Out, please. She'll be here in five minutes."

"Skjienx," Blaine made an ineligible noise and dragged himself off Josh's bed. They descended the stairs, Josh about to sit in the living room to await Stephanie.

"Have fun on your date," Blaine turned around to wink at Josh as he opened the door. "Try not to miss me."

Blaine turned around and found himself face to face with Stephanie, her hand curled in a fist and raised in the air in front of her, about to knock the door. Josh felt his face redden and Stephanie's mouth dropped open. Blaine stepped out onto the path to his car.

"Don't worry," he addressed Stephanie. "We were just making out."

This time Stephanie's face reddened. Josh rolled his eyes as Blaine hopped into his car and drove away.

"Don't worry, he's just my cousin. He's just pitying himself because his boyfriend's off on holiday and he's got no one to get him off."

Things returned to normal and Josh wasn't even surprised when Blaine told him at the start of the next school year that he'd transferred to McKinley to be with Kurt.

Josh was happy for Blaine, he really, really was... but he was worried. Public school for Blaine was like a fish out of water. Public school had been the reason Blaine had gotten beaten up, sent him to depression and got him bullied nearly every day of his life.

He'd stopped his worrying when Blaine had gotten the lead role in the musical; Josh was even going to see him on the opening night. Blaine was happy; he was with Kurt and he seemed to be coping with the transfer well. It was until the first week in October, the week leading up to opening night, when Blaine visibly changed.

Josh closed the door of his house and looked up as he walked toward Blaine's car, about to exchange the usual smile with Kurt... except Kurt wasn't there.

Josh climbed into the car and Blaine drove off without even saying hello or waiting for Josh to fasten his seatbelt. Josh frowned. Blaine's shoulders were tense and he chewed his bottom lip between his teeth.

"No Kurt today?"

Blaine's answer was short. "No."

"Is everything okay?"

"Just fine," Blaine snapped.

Josh pursed his lips, knowing that if he pried Blaine for information his cousin would just close himself up and not expel anything. So Josh waited for the rant that usually came when Blaine needed to talk. Except it never came. Apart from the brief snap at the start of the journey, Blaine returned to normal and Josh didn't even detect any of Blaine's abnormal behaviour over their coffee. So he dropped the subject and went to see Blaine's performance in West Side Story. Needless to say, he was beyond proud of his cousin and tears welled in his eyes when he joined the standing ovation at the end of the show.

Kurt was riding shotgun again the next week.

But Blaine didn't return to his happy-go-lucky state.

Josh waited for the moment Blaine would spill everything to him but it never came. Instead, their conversations grew one sided with Blaine merely offering him smiles and asking the odd question as he fiddled with the napkin he got with the coffee. The chatter in the car was mostly between Josh and Kurt as Blaine stared straight ahead, his fingers tight around the steering wheel.

At first Josh figured Blaine just needed time but as the weeks passed, Blaine became more and more reserved and Josh became more and more worried.

One night when Josh was studying for an English test the next day, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He frowned when he saw Kurt's name pop up with a text saying, 'We need to talk. About Blaine.' but Josh couldn't be more thrilled. He and Kurt agreed on a day, a time and a place to discuss the person closest to them and they came up with a plan.

So, the next Thursday (four days before Kurt and Blaine's Sectionals performance) when Blaine dropped Kurt off home and Josh got out of the back seat, let them share a goodbye kiss and went to get in the passenger seat that Kurt had just vacated, Kurt pet his shoulder and have him a knowing smile.

Josh and Blaine drove to the coffee shop in silence.

When Blaine pulled into the parking lot and went to get out of the door, Josh stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. Blaine looked at his cousin, a crease between his eyebrows. Josh took a deep breath.

"Blaine, what's wrong?"

For a minute, Josh thought Blaine was going to shrug him off and say "Nothing". But then Blaine caught his bottom lip between his teeth, his shoulders sagged and his eyes brimmed with tears.

"Blaine..."

"I'm so sorry, Josh," Blaine cried, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"You… what?" Josh was genuinely baffled and he couldn't help but stare in shock as Blaine curled in on himself, his breath coming in harsh pants and his arms wrapped securely around his middle. He rocked himself back and forth, to and from the steering wheel.

Josh was frightened to say the least. He'd never seen Blaine cry, never mind act like this. He'd never seen someone act like this. Blaine was properly crying, all the while repeating "I'm so sorry" over and over again. Josh had no idea what to do.

After a while, Blaine calmed down. And he talked. He talked for a long time.

He wasn't finding it easy at McKinley. The only friend he had was Kurt and they weren't even in many classes together. Glee club was hard because they all thought he was a spy. The classes were too easy and he finished everything early so he was quickly earning the title of teacher's pet. Kurt's step-brother was giving him a hard time which was particularly awkward considering he was over at their house most nights for dinner. He missed Dalton and he longed to go back but he couldn't because of Kurt. And because of all that, he felt like shit. He felt useless.

And he'd started self-harming again two nights previously.

And that made him feel even worse because not only did it hurt more than he'd remembered but he'd broken a promise. He'd broken a promise to Josh, to Kurt, to his mum and dad. But mostly to himself.

And he was scared what might happen if things didn't improve.

So Josh held him. What else could he do? They sat in the front of Blaine's car and Josh hugged his cousin as tightly as he could. Blaine's tears were dampening his collar and he couldn't even hug him properly because of the gearstick and handbrake between them. But he was there and he was telling Blaine it would be okay and that was all that mattered.

Blaine started to improve after that. It happened gradually but Josh noticed the signs. Blaine started laughing again, his smile seemed less forced, he sang more in the car and he contributed more to conversations.

Soon enough, Blaine was back and Josh couldn't have been happier.

Thursdays continued as they always had and talk in the car turned to Kurt's audition for NYADA. Josh thought it was nice of them to include him in the conversation even if he didn't have a clue what they were talking about for the most part.

Things were good they were happy. Josh had nothing major to worry about, aside from a few class tests here and there but, really, who gives a damn about them? He had a good girlfriend (not Stephanie) and he was no longer worried about Blaine.

Well.

Not until he received a horrible phone call from a very distraught Kurt late one Wednesday night.

"The doctor said his retina in his left eye has been scratched. He's in so much pain, I mean I guess he's calmed down now but when it first happened, he was crying and screaming…" Kurt choked and Josh heard his voice getting thick.

Josh was quiet, letting dread filter through him.

"Josh?"

Josh cleared his throat. "He'll need surgery?"

"Yeah."

He remembered the last time Blaine needed surgery whenever he'd been beaten up; Josh had only been twelve and didn't understand it very well. Blaine himself had later explained he needed surgery on his back and lungs.

Josh took a deep breath, trying not to panic. Things weren't as bad now as they were back then.

"Listen, Kurt, I've gotta go… clear my head," Josh said.

"Yeah, of course," Kurt genuinely sounded like he understood. "I'll see you soon then."

"Yeah, see you."

Josh hung up the phone and went to bed, his heart going out to Blaine and his eyes welling with tears. After everything, his cousin definitely didn't need this.

The following day, since Blaine had to have bed rest, Josh decided to catch the bus to Blaine's house, picking up coffee on the way. He said hello to his aunt and uncle, whom he hadn't seen in a while, before making his way up to Blaine's room, entering after he'd knocked softly.

Blaine was sitting on his bed, his hand held in Kurt's and another boy and girl (Finn and Rachel, he was told) sat at the foot of his bed. Blaine's face lit up when he saw Josh and thanked him for the coffee, the eye without the patch filling with tears.

Relief flooded over Josh; Blaine would be fine. He's strong and he'll make it through.

Josh continued bringing Blaine coffee until his cousin was allowed to drive again and that week was special because not only was Kurt there but Cooper was too. Blaine, Cooper and Josh all went for coffee and Cooper bragged about his career and how successful it was and all the parts he would be auditioning for.

Josh could tell Blaine was getting fed up with his brother and by the time they'd finished their coffees, Blaine was irritable and snapped at every little thing Cooper said.

Cooper soon left and although he and Blaine had worked out their differences, Blaine was obviously glad to be rid of him.

The next week, the car was quieter. It wasn't filled with easy chatter but rather forced conversations. Kurt mostly talked about his audition for NYADA and Blaine sat silently staring straight ahead, not offering much to the discussion.

"Oh! I'm going to Rachel's to help her practise tonight," Kurt said to Blaine, stopping mid-flow in his speech to Josh about song choices. "Should I wear my red jeans or my black ones?"

Blaine shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road. "Whatever."

Josh saw Kurt frown and he let out an annoyed huff before picking up where he left off. Josh met Blaine's eye in the mirror and raised an eyebrow. Blaine merely blinked and looked away so Josh shifted his attention back to Kurt.

Coffee was a mostly silent affair.

The next week Kurt wasn't there at all and when Josh got in the car, Blaine was positively seething.

Wondering if he was going to get his head bitten off, Josh asked tentatively, "Kurt not here?"

"Does it fucking look like Kurt's here?" was Blaine's reply.

Josh jumped and muttered, "Sorry." before resigning himself to looking out the window.

He got it all in the coffee shop.

"I mean, what problem does he have with communication? If he thinks it's going to be any easier to be together when he's off in New York, he's kind of stupid, isn't he? And that's another thing; fucking New York. That's all I hear these days, 'when I get to New York' or 'when you're visiting me in New York' or 'don't worry it'll be better in New York'. Like, seriously, I don't care about New York. Doesn't he get it? He's going to be there and I'm going to be here and it's as if he doesn't even care. He doesn't care because he's going to be off living his dream while I'm stuck here in this shitty place people call Ohio where people are against gays and hardly anyone even cares about me. And do you know how many hot, single gay guys there are in New York?" Blaine stared at Josh as if he genuinely wanted an answer.

Josh swallowed his latte when it was too hot, scalding his throat as he choked out, "No?"

"Neither do I but I'm willing to bet plenty more than there are in Lima," Blaine finished his rant and took a long drink of his coffee. Josh blew on his latte to cool it down as Blaine stared at his coffee cup, his brow knotted in confusion (or concentration) and Josh watched as Blaine's fight left him. "I just… I want him to be happy, y'know?"

Josh nodded.

"But it's just… I was the one who made him happy in the first place. I mean, he went through shit and I helped him out of it and now…" Blaine's eyes filled with tears and he chewed on his bottom lip.

"Now you're scared that if someone else makes him happy he's going to run off with them?" Josh guessed, his tone of voice soft.

Blaine raised his eyes to Josh's and let out a humourless laugh. "Am I that a bad a person?"

"No," Josh rushed to reassure him. "You're not. You're just someone very much in love; it doesn't make you a bad person in any way. But I can tell you now that Kurt isn't going to leave you. Yes, he may have flirted with that Chandler guy but maybe, like you've been distancing yourself from Kurt, Kurt's been trying to get used to not having you around." Blaine stared at Josh as he continued. "Kurt's not just going to drop you. Anyone with eyes can see how crazy you are about each other. So please, stop worrying and spend the last few months you have with him being happy together."

Blaine gave Josh a small smile. "Thanks man."

They continued with their coffee and Kurt was back the following week, he and Blaine closer than ever.

The weeks leading up to the end of school seemed to fly by. There were a few weeks they missed coffee because Kurt and Blaine were busy rehearsing for Nationals and Josh was studying for exams as well as managing to keep up his first relationship with his girlfriend, Ellie.

The night Blaine returned from Chicago was also the night Josh's exams finished and it just so happened to be a Thursday. He had a few friends and Ellie over to watch movies and order pizza to celebrate the exams being over. They were halfway through _Thor_ when the doorbell rang and when Josh's parents or sister seemed to be making no move to answer it, Josh sighed heavily, untangled himself from Ellie and went to answer the door.

"SURPRISE!" Josh nearly had a heart attack when the yell hit him when he opened the door. Kurt and Blaine stood in the open doorway with large grins plastered on their faces. Josh felt himself beam in return.

"Oh my god!" he grinned.

"WE WON! Josh, we won!" Blaine cried, throwing his arms around his cousin and pulling him into a vice-like hold. Josh couldn't put into words how happy he was for Blaine. He seemed to be living his dreams.

"I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" Josh exclaimed, looking toward Kurt when Blaine finally let him go.

"And we brought coffee to celebrate!" Kurt smiled, handing Josh a coffee cup before wrapping his arm around Blaine' waist. Blaine responded to the touch instinctively by resting his head against Kurt's shoulder.

"You guys are awesome," Josh couldn't stop smiling.

"Josh? Who's at the – oh. Hello Blaine," Josh's father had come out of his office and was now looking stonily at Kurt and Blaine standing in the doorway. Josh's heart sank, knowing how much this would make Blaine's high spirits plummet.

"Hey Uncle Jack," Blaine replied merrily, his smile never slipping from his face. "I don't believe you've met Kurt, my boyfriend." Jack released a strangled noise. "And usually this type of reaction would get me seriously annoyed, right now, however…" Blaine shrugged, his face still split in two with his smile, "I really couldn't give a fuck."

With that Blaine carried on into the living room, dragging Kurt along by the hand. Josh stood facing his father, suppressing a smile for a moment or two before taking a sip of his latte and following after Blaine.

The next week wasn't as cheerful. Blaine had told Josh about Kurt's rejection from NYADA and how upset he was about it. Josh had made sure to buy chocolate and diet coke before Blaine picked him up on Thursday. He handed Kurt the food and drink wordlessly whenever he got into the car and one look at Kurt's face told him he hadn't slept well at all. Kurt looked both surprised and touched at the gesture and he offered Josh a small smile before facing forward and not speaking for the rest of the journey.

Fortunately, this summer Blaine was away at the same as Kurt but unfortunately, it was with the entire family for two weeks in a lake house in Texas. Josh and Blaine had to share a room with two of their other cousins and Blaine was most annoyed at the fact Cooper had got out of the trip by saying he had an audition to prepare for.

Josh and Blaine got through it together and they even found a coffee shop in the town closest to where they were staying. It wasn't as good as their normal spot but it was better than nothing.

They returned after their vacation and life returned to normal, even once the school year began.

"What will you be doing this year, then?" Josh asked Kurt the first Thursday of school.

Kurt heaved out a large sigh. "Well I've got a job at the Lima Bean and I'm hoping to attend classes in fashion at the community college."

Josh had to admit; even to him the year seemed dull.

"Cool," he said instead.

But as they returned to their normal conversation, Josh could see the frown between Blaine's eyebrows as he stared at the road.

"It's not that I want him to go," Blaine explained half an hour later as they sipped their coffees. "I just want him to be happy."

Josh nodded in understanding.

"That doesn't make me a bad boyfriend, does it?" Blaine panicked.

"I think it actually makes you a very good boyfriend." Josh reassured.

They exchanged a smile and no more was said on the matter.

The day before Kurt was due to leave for New York happened to be a Thursday and as Josh climbed into the car, he could immediately sense the sadness in the atmosphere. Blaine was particularly quiet whilst Josh and Kurt chatted away.

"How are you feeling about it?" Josh questioned.

Kurt shrugged but smiled. "Excited beyond belief. I mean, I'll finally be in New York where I've always wanted to be," Josh smiled at his enthusiasm but Kurt's smile fell a little and his eyes darted to Blaine for half a second. "Nervous though. Nervous more than anything."

"You'll be brilliant," Blaine looked at Kurt with a strained smiled on his face and set his hand on his boyfriend's knee. Kurt squeezed Blaine's fingers and smiled briefly back at him before turning the radio up.

Their hands didn't move for the remainder of the journey.

When they got to Kurt's house, Kurt and Blaine took a bit longer than usual to say goodbye while Josh waited for Kurt to get out. When Kurt finally did emerge, instead of his usual wave, smile and "see you next week", he grabbed Josh by the shoulders and pulled him to his chest in a tight hug. Josh wrapped his arms around and Kurt and it was only then he realised how much he'd miss him, even if the only saw each other for twenty-five minutes once a week.

"Look after him, yeah?" Kurt whispered. He pulled away but kept his hands on Josh's shoulders.

"You know I will," Josh replied. Kurt bit his lip and glanced toward the car before looking back at Josh. Josh was surprised to see him with tears in his eyes.

"You're a good guy, Josh. I'll see you again sometime," Kurt said quietly.

"Of course," Josh nodded. Kurt offered him a small smile and pressed a swift kiss to his temple before rushing off inside his house.

Josh pretended to be busy fastening his seatbelt as Blaine wiped his tears away.

After Kurt left, Josh discovered Blaine at his house more often. He came over earlier on Thursday evenings and finished off homework while he laid on Josh's bed before going out for coffee. He helped Josh plan his sixteenth birthday party way too far in advance and he even offered his services for tutoring.

"So why do you have so much time lately?" Josh asked one Thursday two weeks after Kurt left. Blaine shrugged.

"I guess I have time on my hands."

"You have friends to hang out with. You don't just have me," Blaine looked at him disbelievingly and offered no more of the topic.

Josh found himself having coffee with Blaine two times a week now instead of one and he usually spent his Saturdays with Blaine and Ellie at the mall. He did, however, see Blaine giving their clasped hands longing glances every now and then.

"He's not returning my calls."

Blaine cut Josh off mid-rant as they drove down the road to the coffee shop. Josh frowned for a moment before realising who Blaine was talking about.

"He isn't?"

Blaine shook his head and bit his bottom lip.

"I'm sure he's just busy," Josh tried lamely but he could see the tears gathering in Blaine's eyes. Blaine didn't reply and Josh pursed his lips; he guessed this would happen.

The next Wednesday night, there was a loud knocking on Josh's front door.

"Oh, hello Blaine," he heard his mother say. Josh checked the time and frowned before making his way down the stairs to the front door. He was halfway down the stairs when his mother called him.

Blaine looked a mess. His clothes looked like they were hastily tossed on, his hair was dishevelled, he kept wringing his hands together in a very un-Blaine like fashion and he had large, fat tears sitting in his eyes ready to spill at any moment. Josh was worried.

"Hey, wha-"

"I need coffee," Blaine said immediately, his voice tense.

"Blaine, it's past eleven –"

"I don't fucking care what time it is!" Blaine snapped, his voice rising drastically and Josh knew his mum would inevitably overhear. "I need coffee!"

"Blaine," Josh said quietly and Blaine finally met his eyes; his bottom lip started to tremble. "Blaine."

"I messed up, Josh," Blaine breathed, running his hand through his already untidy hair.

Josh frowned. "What do –"

"I fucked up so bad," the end of Blaine's sentence came out as a sob as tears started to pour down his cheeks and his shoulders started to shake.

"Oh my god," Josh said and instinctively pulled Blaine into his chest, hugging him tightly. Blaine clung to him as if his life depended on it, his salty tears soaking into Josh's top and his hands clinging so tightly to Josh's back they were probably leaving marks. "It's okay," Josh kept repeating. "Everything will be okay."

Blaine left for New York the following day after telling Josh everything.

Josh received a text that night saying _It's over_.

They didn't talk about Kurt after that. Blaine had made it extremely clear he didn't want to speak about him anymore than he had to. But Josh was concerned. Blaine was sad all the time and he didn't eat much; he looked more tired every time they saw each other and he no longer had a permanent smile on his lips.

Josh went to see Blaine perform on the opening night of Grease. Whenever he bumped into Kurt in the bathrooms during the interval, Kurt looked pretty much the same way Blaine did. They didn't talk long; Kurt seemed eager to get away.

Blaine still refused to talk about it.

Josh felt guilty for feeling relieved when Blaine told him he was thinking of moving back to Dalton. It's not that McKinley was bad for Blaine, it was just that Dalton was Blaine's home and it was where he was safe. It was his haven, the one place that had accepted him when no one else had. Blaine was happiest when he was at Dalton and all Josh wanted was to see his cousin happy.

Which was why Josh started disliking Sam when Blaine decided to stay at McKinley because this Sam guy wanted him to. But he could see Blaine starting to get better and that was all he wanted.

On Thanksgiving, half of the family decided that they'd go and see Blaine's sectionals performance. Needless to say, is was a disaster and Josh felt himself cringing for every member of the New Directions when it was announced they were disqualified from the competition for the rest of the year.

So Josh was surprised when Blaine had a huge, face-splitting grin on his face when they met up after the competition ended.

"Why are you so happy?" Josh asked with a frown.

Blaine's grin widened. "Let's just get some coffee." And with that he grabbed Josh's elbow and dragged him to his car.

The weeks passed and Blaine's spirits increased. He was finding friends at McKinley he never knew he had and he was going to surprise Kurt in New York for Christmas. Blaine brought Josh back a key-ring of the Statue of Liberty and a picture of Times Square at midnight on New Year's Eve.

It took two coffees and a batch of biscotti for Blaine to finish telling Josh all about his time away.

Things pretty much improved for Blaine from then. Josh and Ellie broke up and when Josh told Blaine, Blaine showed up on his doorstep with ice-cream, chocolate and two large cups of coffee. He'd stayed the night and made sure Josh was okay. Ellie was his first relationship and he was pretty upset about it all but he felt bad spilling his feelings to Blaine when Blaine was still sensitive about him and Kurt breaking up.

A month and a half later, when Valentine's Day rolled around, Josh had stopped mourning the death of his first relationship and had his eye on someone else. Blaine, however, was happier than Josh had ever seen him. He guessed it had something to do with Kurt coming back to Ohio for the weekend to attend their teacher's wedding. Josh was even more glad to see Kurt in the car when Blaine's picked him up that week for coffee.

Josh observed them from the back seat of the car. He saw the way Blaine's gaze lingered on Kurt after Kurt turned away, he noticed how Kurt's hand remained on Blaine's whenever Blaine handed him a fruit pastel. There were unresolved feelings between the two of them and Josh didn't know whether to be wary or ecstatic.

For now he was ecstatic.

The next week, Josh had grown tired of Blaine's smug grin and the cheerfulness that seemed to radiate from him.

"Well," he began and Blaine beamed at him. "Aren't you going to tell me why you're bouncing with joy all of a sudden?"

If possible, Blaine's smile grew.

"I totally got laid at the weekend."

And then Josh understood.

Several weeks later, Josh received a phone call which made his heart jump to his throat and his insides freeze, effortlessly cutting through the happy fog that had been surrounding him and Blaine.

Josh was at home sick when his phone buzzed in his pocket and he wondered why Blaine was calling him in the middle of school.

"Hey man, what's up?" Josh answered and then sneezed.

"Josh?" Blaine's voice was barely above a whisper, harsh and panicky down the line. "Thank god you picked up."

"Blaine what's going –"

"Josh…" Blaine's voice broke and Josh could practically hear the tears in his eyes. "There's a shooting at McKinley."

Josh was pretty sure his whole world stopped. He froze; his hand halfway to the tissue box and his eyes wide open.

"What?" he found himself whispering. "Are you – oh my god, no Blaine! Are you okay? Oh my god, no please, please let this be some sick joke."

"I'm so sorry, man," Blaine was crying, his voice still so quiet. "I wish it was."

Josh sat in silence, listening to Blaine's sniffles, along with others from within the room.

"I'm so scared, Josh."

Shit.

Blaine was never scared.

"It's going to be okay," Josh started blabbering. "It'll be okay. You're hiding, right? Just stay quiet, stay hidden, just… fuck, do not die."

"I-I can't get through to Mom," Blaine cried, trying to stop his voice level rising. "I'm so scared."

Josh felt his own tear trickle down his cheek.

"I love you so much, Josh. You mean so much to me."

"Blaine," Josh swallowed, hoping his voice sounded stronger than he felt. "None of that. Just… just focus on keeping hidden, okay? Please, please stay –"

"Shit," Blaine's harsh whisper cut him off. "I've gotta go."

"I love you, man. This isn't goodbye."

But Blaine was already gone.

Josh slid back on the couch and cried.

But it was okay.

Blaine showed up on his doorstep that evening holding two goddamn cups of coffee with a large goddamn smile on his face.

Josh couldn't stop the tears from flowing and he threw himself at his cousin, hugging him as tight as he possibly could, never wanting to let him go.

"It's okay," Blaine reassured through his tears. "I'm okay."

"You're here," Josh said. "That's all that matters."

They got coffee every day for a week.

Several weeks passed and the shooting scare at McKinley had been nearly forgotten. Josh did notice Blaine being more on edge and he jumped at loud, sudden noises. That was to be expected, though and Josh wasn't too worried.

"Two weeks until Kurt comes home," Blaine said happily one evening over their coffee. He sat opposite Josh, his head bowed as he stirred the liquid in his mug wearing his stupid Cheerios uniform.

"You doing anything when he's here?" Josh asked.

Blaine looked up at him and shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Who knows?"

Blaine had gone back to his coffee with a smile still plastered across his face.

Whenever Josh got into the car the next week, Blaine was practically bouncing with excitement.

"One week," he said in a sing-song voice while Josh fastened his seatbelt.

"He's not your boyfriend anymore, Blaine. You do remember breaking up with him, don't you?" Josh deadpanned as Blaine pulled onto the road.

Blaine glared at him and offered no comment.

The next week, true to Blaine's word, Kurt sat in the passenger seat when Josh exited his house. They shared their usual smile as Josh walked towards the car.

"Long time, no see," Kurt commented when Josh got into the car.

"Indeed," Josh replied, turning to grin at Kurt. "I'm glad to hear about your dad by the way."

Kurt looked surprised and then touched and then happy.

"Thank you," he said quietly before saying. "Are you going to Regionals to watch the New Directions?"

Conversation continued from there. Whenever Josh and Blaine arrived at the coffee shop, Blaine was… fidgety. Josh didn't know why; he thought he was merely happy but when they sat down he continued to bounce his knee against the table and tapped his fingers against his mug.

"You okay?" Josh asked after a few moments of silence.

Blaine let out a sigh. "I need to ask you something."

Josh frowned. "O…kay."

Blaine took a deep breath. "What's your opinion on teenage marriage?"

Josh was surprised and confused. And then not so much confused when he realised what Blaine was talking about. Josh's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he stared at Blaine in disbelief.

"You're not serious, are you?" he asked his cousin incredulously.

This time it was Blaine's turn to frown. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you're _eighteen,_ Blaine. You haven't even finished school!"

Blaine glared at him. "You can't say that to me, you're two years younger than I am."

"Apparently I'm two years wiser," Josh cameback at him. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"I love Kurt, okay?" Blaine defended. He looked angry. "I love him more than anything and anyone. He's my soulmate and we're meant to be together. I want to get him back so I have to do something bold and big to get his attention."

"Blaine, are you listening to yourself?" Josh asked in a hushed voice. "Kurt isn't even your boyfriend. You don't have to _propose_ to get back together with him. You're only eighteen, for god's sakes."

"Josh, I don't think you understand," Blaine argued. "People like me have been waiting _years_ to be able to get married and now it's finally happening! We've got to take the chance as soon as we can now that we have it."

"Blaine, marriage equality has been legal in eight states for a while now. Just because it's going to be legalised in New York doesn't mean you immediately have to get married." Josh told him. Blaine glared at him. "Look, have you even talked to anyone else about this?"

Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Tina. She's completely on board with it."

Josh rolled his eyes.

"And…" Blaine glanced around the coffee shop. "Kurt's dad."

"And what did he say?" Josh asked.

"He told me not to do it," Blaine muttered and Josh breathed a sigh of relief, glad that someone else was thinking along the same lines as he was.

"Listen to him, Blaine," Josh advised quickly. "He knows Kurt better than anyone and he's a lot older than you. He has more experience of the world. Just listen to what he's telling you."

Blaine stared down at the table, drained his coffee and stood up, not meeting Josh's eye.

"I think it's time to go," Blaine said as he pushed his chair in and walked out of the shop before Josh had even got out of his seat.

"Look Blaine –" Josh started as he got into the car but Blaine cut him off.

"You don't understand," Blaine defended fiercely, his eyes blazing and staring daggers at Josh. "Kurt is my everything. He _knows _me. He knows me more than anyone else. He has my heart. He always will and I've known from whenever I first realised my feelings for him that I want to marry him. And now I _ finally _ have that chance and not only do I just have the chance, I have the chance to get married in the city Kurt now calls home and the said city that I want to move to as soon as I can." Blaine's eyes had held pride and his chin was pointed upwards until this point but then he sighed; his shoulders deflated and he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again with a softer, more delicate look in them as he stared at Josh. "I_ need_ to marry him, Josh."

Josh let out a sigh and put his hand on Blaine's shoulder.

"If you love him with as much conviction as you say then you _will_ marry him," Josh told him firmly. "I just don't think whenever you're eighteen and about to graduate and move states is the best time to do it.

"You and Kurt are different people since you broke up. Do you not remember a time Kurt wasn't there? You guys knew each other as friends then you grew together as a couple. You two went through a lot together, I'm not denying that, but you also encountered heartache together. You'd been dating him for over a year; you'd grown and matured _with _Kurt and since you guys broke up, you've had to grow and mature on your own. As has Kurt. You're not the same person, and neither is Kurt. All I suggest is that you don't jump into this. You need to start dating, get to know each other, fall in love again… _then _you can propose to him."

Blaine pursed his lips but didn't say anything.

The drive home was silent.

The next week at Blaine's Regionals performance, Josh arrived slightly late and snuck in the back, just after the first act had started their performance. He found his seat beside Blaine's mother and sat through all the acts until the New Directions took to the stage.

If Josh was honest with himself, he wasn't as impressed as he had been at other performances they'd put on. But that was being honest with himself; it didn't necessarily mean he had to be honest with Blaine.

After the New Directions had been declared the winners, Josh went backstage with Blaine's mother and other parents of Blaine's friends. They found Blaine in among the crowd, talking animatedly to Kurt and Mercedes; whenever he spotted Josh, he quickly excused himself and threw himself at his cousin, hugging him tightly.

"I need to talk to you," Blaine said quietly in Josh's ear. He pulled away and Josh followed him down an empty corridor.

"What're we –"

Josh stopped talking when Blaine silently handed him a letter in a brown envelope. Josh frowned at it as he took it from Blaine's hand, seeing that it had already been opened. Josh shot Blaine a confused look as he slid the letter out of the envelope; Blaine was bouncing on the balls of his feet and chewing at his bottom lip.

Unfolding the letter, Josh realised what it was and a loud gasp escaped his lips as he read it through quickly, excitement bubbling with every word. When he'd finished, he looked up at Blaine, who was grinning, and tackled him with a hug.

"Holy crap!" Josh exclaimed pulling away and waving the letter in front of Blaine face. "You got early acceptance into Harvard! That's crazy, man!"

Blaine tried to look excited but he couldn't stop his grin slipping. He leaned against the lockers behind him and slid to the ground, tucking his knees up below his chin.

"You're not happy?"

"Are you kidding?" Blaine looked up at him and added sincerely, "I'm ecstatic! Harvard fucking University accepted _me_!"

Josh frowned and sat down beside his cousin. "So then why aren't you excited?"

Blaine groaned and tipped his head back against the locker behind him.

"I had a plan to go to New York, live with Kurt, get him to love me again, study music theory then graduate, find a job as a music therapist and then when we had enough money, move into an apartment with Kurt and ask him to marry me."

"You could still do that," Josh suggested. "Just move to New York when you've graduated from Harvard."

"But the course I got accepted to is law and history, Josh."

"Why did you apply for law?"

"_I _didn't," Blaine explained and looked into Josh's eyes. "My dad, however, did."

Josh didn't know what to say.

"I can do law," Blaine said. "It's a substantial career, it pays well and it was one of my top five choices anyway… it's just…"

"Music is your passion," Josh finished for him.

"Exactly," Blaine said in reply. "I don't know what to do."

They sat in silence for a moment. Blaine stared at the ceiling, his head still leant against the locker and Josh stared straight ahead at the row of lockers on the other side of the hallway. He bit his lip. He knew what would be best for Blaine, but he also knew what Blaine would think would be the best choice for him.

"Who else have you told?"

"My mom."

"Not Kurt?"

Blaine didn't reply. Instead, he stood up, brushed the dust off his trousers and looked down at Josh.

"Let's just forget about it for now and go celebrate." Blaine said with a sigh.

Josh nodded as Blaine pulled him to his feet. "Sounds like a good idea."

They started off down the corridor towards the choir room. There was a tense atmosphere surrounding them as they walked down the corridor but Josh couldn't help asking the one question he'd been turning over in his head for weeks now.

Josh took a deep breath. "Whenever you graduate, even if it's over Skype, we'll still have coffee on Thursdays, right?"

Blaine met Josh's eye and a smile spread across his face.

"Always."


End file.
